Transparent Open Letter To Parents of School-Age Children © 2018 Phillip Evans

Dear Parents of School-Age Children,

We have decreed by law under pain of punishment that your children shall have an education, and it shall be provided in the form of public schools, private schools, or home schooling. So far so good, right? We know the greatest majority of you will only have the option of public schools, and that's cool because that's great for our business of indoctrinating your children into believing that only the government can effectively protect them.

Minute of silence at White House for Sandy Hook school shooting

Alas, we have been having a few mass school shootings which have wounded and killed several innocent victims, putting a bit of a lie to that idea. After all, the most recent shooting to date, in Parkland, Florida, was enabled by a multitude of government failures, from the Broward County Sheriff's Office, to the FBI, to the armed Broward County Deputy who cowered for four minutes outside a building at Stoneman Douglas High School instead of going in to save lives.

So finally, after all these innocent deaths, we are going to do something about it. We care about you, we really do. And so, we will pull out all stops and do lots of things in a multi-pronged approach that will make you feel good that we have done something. Look, we can take a pinch of salt, a pinch of sugar, a drop of milk, a dust of flour, and a dash of oregano and tell you that we're baking a cake, but you'd know right away that we were being silly. 

However, we can have various well-dressed and coiffed, smiling professionals and politicians put together a narrative on TV that can convince at least 51% of you into believing that our solutions to mass school shootings will take care of everything. We should know; we use your tax money to study how to sell such baloney. And when we high-five ourselves later on a job well done, we know we will keep winning elections. You'll feel better, and we'll stay in control. A delightful win-win, if we don't say so ourselves.

Anyway, we can do anything. Well, at least anything we want. And you'll have to live, and sometimes die for it. If you believe innocent bloodshed can help loosen our boot from the neck of Lady Liberty, you would be sadly mistaken. We can neither tolerate nor trust you "We The People" folks having the temerity to think you can do such daring things on your own as to protect yourselves and your children with firearms from criminals and terrorists in our public schools. We know best, even if we fail miserably at it.

You, our beloved subjects, are far from being professional enough to even consider such a thing. Even if you take the time and trouble to apply for, pay for, qualify for, and obtain a firearms carry license, even if you take professional training, you must leave the highly sensitive job of keeping your precious children safe, to us. Because we are the masters. Because we care enough to do something, even if it helps only a little. We could tell you to eat cake if only we could give you enough stale crumbs to make one.

And if a large school in an affluent district can afford a single, cowardly deputy to keep them safe, imagine what crumbs the poorer schools will receive. Perhaps we can pass laws to mandate moments of silence.

Oh, and this just in. When the deputy called for backup, three other deputies arrived...and did nothing. Well, they did something. They stayed outside the building the killer was in and waited behind their patrol cars. They had to get home safely after counting the bodies and supervising the survivors walking out with their hands up.

And don't think that limiting talk to arming just teachers will get you anywhere.

Even venerated and well loved and respected teachers must be portrayed as unstable, over worked, about-to-snap-and-go-on-a-killing-spree maniacs if the idea of arming them is broached. Most of them are happy being sitting ducks (we have taught them well), so why should we upset them with the burdensome thought of shooting back to try and save lives? They can dial 911 and run, hide, and wait just like anyone else. After all, sheep have and should keep their place in society.

Look, we know you have a Second Amendment, but we have ways to deal with that little blurb in the Constitution. We have plenty of law-makers among us that promise to support and uphold the Second Amendment. What more could you want?

Even Hilary Clinton, while campaigning for President, was able to state that she respected the Second Amendment and manage to keep a straight face. But we know between us that she would have given all her rightside organs and appendages before trusting you ordinary people with firearms in schools around children. 

Never mind that you licensed and responsible adults already carry your concealed pistols around multiple children in parks, at playgrounds, in movie theaters, at restaurants, at malls, and so forth. But you see, government schools are symbolic of and are an actual seat of, our control. We cannot have that idea violated in your minds, in allowing you to have the means of self-preservation on those hollowed grounds, even if that could save many lives. Perish the thought! 

Please don't go crying to President Trump to restore the free exercise of your carry rights at schools, even if he did promise to get rid of "gun-free" zones at schools while campaigning.

Carrying a pistol at schools is already legal under Federal law if you are licensed to carry, per the Gun-Free School Zones Act.

The main obstacle that keeps you from being armed on school property is state governments and politicians that refuse to allow liberty to be given a chance.

Let's be honest here, school shootings are horrible, but they are a great way to keep the pressure up to further strip you of your human right of self-defense. We never let a tragedy go to waste. You don't need to exercise your rights or defend yourselves. You have us. Now be happy and go back to watching TV.

Love,

Your State Government

P.S. Speaking of sheep:

Broward County Sheriff Scott Israel once stated in the past, "Lions don't care about the opinions of sheep."

The good Sheriff meant you. He probably shouldn't have been so transparent in such a public manner, but he and we are on the same page, little people.